Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Roy defects to England

AYALAC has exclusively heard that Andrew Symonds is considering changing allegiances and fielding in England blues.

Symonds has struggled at test level, in an age of batting supremacy an average of 34 is not good enough. Moreover, his options with the ball, in the extended version of the game, do not provide the all-round package that Australia are searching for. Averaging over 40 with the ball is akin to a part-timer.

My sources inform me that Symonds “had it out” with senior members of Australia’s management, and even after a reasonably successful run in the team, it is doubtful that he has a long-term future with them.

Being English-born and familiar with the domestic set-up, Symonds’ first thoughts moved to England. He is quoted to have said,

“Ultimately, as a sportsman, you want to perform at the highest level. Sustaining yourself and performing well at test match level is the goal of ever player. And to achieve this, I might have to consider some radical life-changes.”
“Roy” has once rejected the advances of England selectors, but poor form and bad weather is thought to have changed his mind.

Roy informs me that,

“I’m thinking of settling down in another country, you know, one with sunshine and stuff. Plus, I’m probably not good enough to stay playing for Australia for long. Which can only mean one thing, really, you know?”
Yes we do, Andrew. Yes we do.

9 comments:

Straight Point said...

...and my sources say that he will join exactly on 1st day April...

Miss Field said...

I will not be made a fool of twice in one day. No!

David Barry said...

They say that a good April Fools' joke should fool and outrage some people while cleverer people will recognise it as an April Fools' joke.

I feel like I'm in a limbo between those two camps. I knew from the title that it was a made-up story, but it didn't occur to me that it was April 1. I had no idea why you'd written it until I saw SP's comment.

Miss Field said...

Besides...

in. your. dreams.

Miss Field said...

Some radio station in Auckland is in trouble, told everyone the Foo Fighters were doing a free concert, people flew in from around the country apparently.

I love New Zealand!

Moses @ Beer and Sport said...

Can bat and bowl... English... is Roy the new Botham?

Jrod said...

I really don't see the difference between this and any other day you post.

The Atheist said...

JRod, you put your finger on an awkward problem for me there. Most of the rest is lies anyway.

Admit it though, the rest of you were taken in, weren't you?

Jrod said...

beautiful lies though