Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Westward ho!

Ha! Yesterday’s post was just an April Fool’s joke. I think you were all pretty much taken in by that one. How clever I am.

Anyway, I think, in our heart of hearts, we all know that the best county in England is Somerset. The best food, best accents and best cricket team all come from this rural utopia. And this season, Somerset will join the voaks in the First Division.

And they’ll be no mugglin’, they’re be climmerin’ up to the top dreckley.

They also have the opportunity show off their new lovely new donnins. As you can see from the picture, they have chosen a bootiful combination of grey and red. Of course, Somerset is the land of grey and red, int ee?

I have great hopes for Somerset this season. Andy Caddick is set to return after some surgery. And Marcus Trescothick has retired from England duty, which means, unusually for a county, Somerset will retain the use of their best player.

I’m a little bit in two minds about the whole captaincy situation. Putting an Australian in charge of the noblest county in the country is heavy blow to Englanders everywhere. There’s nothing wrong with Justin Langer in himself, other than his rank Australianness, it’s just that if you asked him, “what would you prefer: the love of a beautiful woman or a slice of toast?” he’d enquire what sort of marmalade was on the toast.

Although, there are many advantages to the toast. It’s less demanding, doesn’t cost you so much and you don’t feel guilty about falling asleep after you’ve had a piece of it.

In any case, Cameron White will also be handy. Although he’s a policeman from Chard, some Ausslers have got it into their head that he’s one of them. Fair enough, so long as he plays well for us. Don’t worry, meh ol’ acker, I wonst be tellin’ on thy.

Anyway, if you want to catch up on the latest gossip in the West Country, be sure to check out the excellent blog Scrumpy and Sixes. Ee’s a good’un. Ooh arr.


Miss Field said...

Rank Australianness... ouch.

The Atheist said...

It is, of course, meant in the best possible way.

Gurpal said...

why did the post end in, what i assume was, a pirate impression?

King Cricket said...

Come, Gurpal, 'ooh arr' is classic Zummerzet.

You're thinking of 'ha harr'.

Subtle but crucial difference.

The Atheist said...

I have long agonised over the apparently similarity between the West Country accent, and pirate-talk.

Were Bristolians the scourge of the seas? Taunton folk the terrorists of 18th century trade? If so, it explains a lot about my relatives.

Miss Field said...

Pirate relatives would be awesome. I wish I was a pirate. Anne Bonny would have feared me!

Sreehari said...

Pls link my blog on your blog as I hav done regarding yours...

JF said...

Never been to Westward Ho! on the National Express, always used to get off at Taunton. I think Cameron White's stint with us is over and Worcs are looking at him for the 20/20. Good to know he's a farmer from Stogumber though.