Somerset win like the demons that they are

In the best match of the English domestic season so far, Somerset somehow managed to chase down 362 in the last innings in the last day. This they achieved off 68 overs.

Yorkshire rather helped them out, field a sporting declaration after their third innings 33-4 and a first innings advantage of 28.

Somerset’s charge was powered mainly by a 68-ball century from James Hildreth. Others also chipped in, notably Zander de Bruyn’s 93 and Marcus Tresocothik’s 53. But it was Hildreth’s fearsome stroke-play that gave the West Country lads belief.

The victory may not have been as assured, had Tino Best been at fall fitness.

But it probably would have been.

There are valuable lessons that we learn from this trouncing:

1) Be less like Yorkshire;
2) Be more like Somerset.

Dazzler dances into the Yorkshire sunset

Darren Gough has retired.

The Dazzler was a bit of a childhood hero to me. Although my natural support lay with Andy Caddick, in my heart of hearts, I acknowledge that Gough was England’s best bowler in the 1990s.

His talents lay, according to Fred Truman, mainly in his bum (that’s not a hint) where Fred believed that prodigious size resulted in fast bowling manliness. On this count, Gough excelled.

People say that Gough’s main strength was his heart. “He had a big heart” they say. I say this is rubbish.

His main strength was bowling fast and accurate. And getting wickets. He was excellent at all these things and that made him great.

Have you ever seen a giant heart play cricket? Useless at finding length. And leaves a terrible mess.

What stood out for me was his huge, leaping bowling action, left-arm pointing directly towards God, and the ball would fire towards some hapless batsman. Usually a South Africa. Gough, for some reason, seemed to bowl at a lot of South Africans.

My enduring memory was of his cheeky rear-guard of a quick 40 in the dying moments of an England innings. He, and Phil Defreitas I think, displayed some entertaining hitting to save England from defeat against the Saffers.

“I’m going to get you out,” said Allan Donald, angrily.
“I’m going to hit you straight into the air, but get away with it” said Gough.
“Oh, I’m all angry now.”
“Oh looked, I did it again.”
“THE RAGE.”

But, perhaps Gough’s finest achievement was scoring a maximum in the 2007 Christmas Special of Strictly Come Dancing with a classy American Smooth.

You’ve got to spin to win

The LV County Championship is certainly coming to a thrilling climax – please don’t try to extract any puns out of that sentence.

Five teams have a realistic possibility of taking the top trophy. The current leaders, Yorkshire, have played one more game than Sussex (second place) and two more than Hampshire (3rd), Lancashire (4th) and Durham (5th).

Yorkshire have only two remaining games, unfortunately for them, they are facing Sussex and Hampshire. So their performance over the next few weeks will determine the outcome of the entire season. Although the call-up of key players into the international twenty20 competition may work in their favour.

It is interesting to note that all the top four teams have a spinner. Not just an ordinary spinner, but a really good one. Mushtaq Ahmed has been causing havoc at Sussex for years; Muttiah Muralitharan leads Lancashire’s attack and Shane Warne does the business for Hampshire. Now that Adil Rashid (Yorkshire’s joint top wicket taker) is plying his trade, Yorkshire are converted from a good county to a championship winning county. Only Durham lack a proper twirler.

Modern county success, at the top level, requires a spinner to give that extra penetration. Rob Key, captain of Kent and international object of desire notes:

“At the start of the season you think, ‘Who’s the best wizard spinner we can find?’ unfortunately, most of the best are signed up. You can’t write off any county that’s got one. On flat pitches it’s tough to outbowl sides like Sussex. We’ve been in good positions but unable to nail the win.”

If you want to win you need to take twenty wickets. Spinners make that task easier; therefore increase you chances of winning. It’s simple. (It’s a pity the England set-up don’t understand that.) You really, really need a spinner. Really.

And when Durham don’t win the Championship, I’ll be the first to point out why.

Yorkshire: where men are mums

Do you remember when you mum used to kiss you as a kid? You’d pull away and say “Mu-um!” Of course, this is all just a memory for me now. My mum has now replaced affection with criticism and abuse, as with all loving parents, I suppose.

Anyway, this Adil Rashid receiving a motherly kiss from his captain, Darren Gough. From the expression on Adil’s face – he feels about five.

Now, I would have liked to see Ray Illingworth kiss his team-mates. One by one. Maybe he’d hold their hand a little. Give them a flower.

Anyway, if the heavy petting route works, which it seems to for Yorkshire, then I’m not the one to stand in the way of consenting cricketers expressing themselves in public.