Cricket’s insidious influence reaches US

New York State, an American place, has announced that it will be establishing a state-wide school league. It is hoped that over 600 students will participate.

This is the first state-wide school league in the US. I think that there was once another league, in California, I believe (pedants, here’s your chance) but that didn’t last long.

American cricket has been in a right old mess for a while now. The United States of America Cricket Association was expelled from the ICC in March 2007, after the centrifugal force of various factions proved two much.

However, one of the most divisive members of American cricket, Gladstone Dainty, has been re-elected president, as the USACA’s ICC suspension was lifted. Hopefully, they can sort things out from here.

But the shambles of American cricket, rather reminds me of the mess that was early American communist and socialist parties. They were so divided and fragmented that Comintern frequently intervened and gave them a bollocking.

I’m not saying that cricketers are communists…I’m just pointed out a similarity.

So, the take over begins. The task that the British Empire started and lost, cricket will complete. This is it, oh my brothers. This is where we can take back America. It’s rightfully the property of the Queen, anyway, so it’s all legal.

Eventually, when cricket has penetrated every level of American society, they will set up a little national team. And we will crush them. And then we will laugh.

Although we are small people, at least we have something to live for, when cricket takes over, and yanks are still mystified by the whole thing, us cricket bloggers will be like gods. Until that point, we can just mock them.

Tanzania: Pimephales promelas of the cricketing world

Uganda won the final of the World Cricket League Division Three final, beating Argentina by 91 runs. This was the expected outcome, however, it must be noted that Argentina did exceptionally well to reach the final.

The South American country was only brought in at the eleventh hour, after the administrative mess that is the various American cricket boards saw the US expunged from the League.

The fractious and chaotic nature of US cricket administration reminds me of the American communists. The 1920s saw the emergence of about twenty various socialist parties, and Russians eventually gave up hope, pulling out funding. American can’t organise cricket, or communism. Coincidence?

Anyway, Argentina, which is also bizarrely good at rugby, put in a solid performance. Their captain, Esteban MacDermott, was awarded the player of the tournament.

It wasn’t all good news, though. Sadly, Tanzania were thrashed in the play-offs, losing to Hong Kong by 129 and coming in sixth. I really like Tanzania. I used to live there and think that it’s “cool”. In comparison to non-cricket playing nations I’d say it’s cooler than Dubai, but not as cool as Belgium. Belgium, now there’s a place: Chocolate; beer; sausages – it’s a utopia.

I like these little teams. They’re like little village players, but given the status of international stars. They’re not even minnows. I’ll have to think of a new name for them. They’re like the tiny parasites that live off minnows. A quick scan of the internet has produced Pimephales promelas, which burrows into the brains of fat-head minnows. This seems like a reasonable approximation of Italy’s relationship to England. I think for short we’ll call them “Pimmies”.

Go on you Pimmies!