Monday, June 22, 2009

English women best in all the world

I am informed but a certain continental colleague of mine that the Spanish believe that England is the only country in the world that produces unattractive blondes. I was shocked by her sentiment, and would never publish such misogynistic clap-trap here.

But today perhaps the English women have finally proven their superiority over their Iberian counterparts, and indeed, the rest of the female gender throughout the world.

The international tournament of “who is best” was noticeable for its lack of Spanish entrants. We can only suppose that they withdrew from the field, once they realised the fitness of the opposition.

Yesterday’s final was the epitome of a ruthless dispatching of opposition. If the men’s final was a grisly, messy knife job, the women’s was a professional, even clinical shot in the back of the skull.

The rank amateurism of England’s opponents, however, created huge gulf in standards between us and everyone else. Their ill-preparedness and defective skills were especially noticeable in the European teams.

The finalists, New Zealand, have a shambles over their former captain, who didn’t believed that she was receiving adequate remuneration for the honour of representing her nation. Australia’s bowling lacks cutting edge. Most of the sub-continental sides are packed with duffers.

Whereas England boasts a multi-million pound (money) outfit, that provides central contracts for a class of professional cricketers. The sheer difference in quality overwhelmed a plucky, if under-resourced opposition.

Nevertheless, England’s women are the most dominant and attractive women in the world. The force of this argument is not weakened by the England captain’s resemblance to Andy Caddick.

9 comments:

Lisa said...

Apparently it's not just the Spanish and not just the blondes - British* people (especially women) are considered ugly by pretty much every nation, and it's not a modern stereotype either so we can't blame football hooligans and package holidays.

As a British woman (though not blonde) that discovery was quite dispiriting.

*They were bit fuzzy about the British/English thing so am not sure about the status of the Scots or Welsh, but as a Welsh person am guessing it's probably British... (There is not an obvious improvement in attractiveness whenever I visit home)

The Atheist said...

I'm interested to see a comment complaining about over-generalisation by referring to the rest of the world as "they".

Apparently, British men are considered attractive by our Spanish colleagues. Although, we must take everything that these dubious Iberian types say - because they also believe Germans to be, quote, "sexy".

Hohoho

Lisa said...

Well, it wasn't so much a complaint about over-generalisation as surprise about Britain's/Britons' international reputation among a multi-national group of people. It is just not a stereotype that is reported back very often, unlike the dental thing. It's like discovering how much Iranians hate Britain (to be topical).

And they were an international group of Americans, Russians, Mauritians, French, Germans, Poles, Swedes, Arabs, Chinese and others, but I thought my comment was already a bit long for me to go into greater detail, although I appreciate it was clumsy.

- That must mean you're twice as attractive to Spaniards then. Congrats.

The Atheist said...

Yes. Well, I suppose stereotypes are almost always false, but I think Brits abroad must endure jokes regarding the following:

- ugly women
- bad food
- bad teeth
- boring people
- snobbish
- addicted to tea
- bad bread
- dirty
- low standards in every aspect of our existence

I have had these opinions forcefully expressed to me by a variety of Jonny Foreigner. Like all stereotypes, they are all wrong. And are all right at the same time.

There are, however, some countries where stereotypes are always true. France, for instance.

Lisa said...

But our food isn't as bad as the Finns', which is something, although whether we should accept the word of an adulterous*, corrupt*, beaky*, patrician*, rude*, cunning* and arrogant* French politician is another matter.

* I think crowbarring 7 in is quite good, although it is arguable whether they are attached to the nation or the vocation.

The Atheist said...

Would it be too much to suggest that he might be excellent in bed as well?

They didn't call him a hot bunny for nothing.

D Charlton said...

Bad bread? What's wrong with the bread?

The Atheist said...

Exactly, D Charlton, exactly.

Anonymous said...

I think many countries men are scared of English women's strength and outspokeness and brand them 'ugly' because of this. They're used to their moms who built up their egos and coddled them, and they date insecure weaker women.
When an English woman corrects them in a joking manner or asserts her equality they brand her 'ugly' as a cover. Kind of like calling the woman who wont dance with you a 'lesbian' to cover your hurt pride.
Of course theres overweight and unattractive English women as everywhere. But since personality is a large part of attractiveness I personally find English women the most attractive overall.
They are some of the least needy women on earth and that is beautiful as far as I'm concerned.