Thursday, March 13, 2008

England evade trouble

International cricket is cruel to England fans. We suffer muchly at the hands of our boys. They tease us, give us hope and then crush us.

Rarely, do we get an opportunity to cheer – except perhaps when a tail-ender biffs a six in a desperate rear-guard as we’re bowled out for 144 again.

The end of the first day of the second test match is an awkward situation for us. Do we celebrate Tim Ambrose nearing a century? Perhaps we should cheer Paul Collingwood’s typically grafting near fifty?

Ambrose – he may be Australian. But he’s our Australian. Come on Tim!

That England ended the first day on more or less the same score as New Zealand did on the first day of the first test match is a little disturbing. Or perhaps exciting?

Maybe we’ll go on to score 470! No… no. That’s not going to happen.

In all probability we’ll see a spineless slump. We’re used to it now. We England fans can read the omens of a test match like an old fraud can read tea. We can see it coming.

Just once, I’d like to see Vaughany et al. give the opposition a taste of British steel.


miriam said...

As everyone always says, I think the first hour of play will be crucial. If the boys quiche out just before their respective crucial landmarks, in the ULTIMATE demonstration of foreplay-but-no-finish by making it last overnight, then the tone is set.

Jrod said...

quiche? isnt that a form of pie?

miriam said...

It's a baked dish with pastry and egg and cream. It's not as good as a pie.

Sorry, the phrase "quiche out" is an injoke between me and my sister, which means to wimp out in a particularly lame manner. The phrase originated when I said to her once, without thinking, "If I'd known you were coming over I'd have got a quiche out".

The Atheist said...

Thanks for clearing that up, Miriam, I was wondering about that as well.

Although, personally, I'm a quiche man, and believe that your semantics are a little demeaning to the otherwise noble world of quiches and quiche accessories.

miriam said...

I didn't think it was possible to demean a quiche. Aren't they already right down there with Quorn?

The Atheist said...

Miriam, I think you're karma has just taken a knock by about a hundred points.

miriam said...

I do occasionally drink herbal teas. That must count for something.

The Atheist said...

Depends. Is that free range herbal tea?

miriam said...

I checked the packet, but all I know is that it is made in a factory that handles nuts.

The Atheist said...

That doesn't sounds like a very ethical factory to me.

Nope, sorry, you take the full hit.

Minus a hundred karma points for you and all your quiche demeaning kind.

miriam said...

FINE. Do your worst, gentle karmic folk.