Who is better: Warne or Murali?

The answer, of course, is Matthew Hoggard. In blasting away four Sri Lankan batsman in their over-whelmed first innings attempt, Hoggy has proven his quality and me right. In the second innings, he has taken a wicket, despite losing the use of a leg and his right eye.

After a six months absence, you would have expected him to be a bit Harmisony, but not a bit of it.

The wonder of Hoggard’s consistent amazingness is inexplicable to me as my television’s constant demands that I press some mysterious red button.

Effortlessly blowing the opposition away like the smell of fresh summer roses being expunged by the clattering arrival of the refuse collectors is impressive in itself. But given the unfriendly conditions and limited swing, it provides mathematical proof that Hoggard is some sort of fluffy Yorkshire swing-bowling god.

I’m starting to doubt my Hoggard for Captain Campaign, as this will probably mean that he couldn’t be Prime Minister. Although, I don’t know. There is no law against holding both positions simultaneously; PMQ’s are held on Wednesday and test matches don’t start until Thursday. It sounds like a perfect job-share.