So on to the cricket. Old campaigners Benevolent Uncle Sanath, Granddad Chaminda and Crazed Nephew Murali did the job for Sri Lanka, to see them home against a rather deflated New Zealand.
Stricken by the curse of batting first, the heart of the New Zealand side was ripped open by a great spell of opening bowling by W. P. U. J. C. Vaas. Fleming, Taylor and then Fulton all fell for not much. Here Muttiah Muralitharan took over, keeping the runs down and taking some wickets, as was his want. Only Scott Styris offered some resistance, mounting an innings-saving Nelson.
But it wasn’t enough. After some early innings fireworks from Sanath Jayasuriya, the reliable old Kumar Sangakkara saw the Lankans home. An impressive display, I thought.
People have been suggesting that the Black Caps are actually quite good, and could perhaps win the World Cup.
NO. I say. THEY ARE NOT. THEY ARE RUBBISH.
No one listens to me – not even the sides that lose to them. I am right, though, they will fail. To see when they would lose, I consulted the Predictoron on this. It said “soon”. So that cheered me up a bit.
More importantly, my desperate search for a “Stop The Australians” candidate has settled on Sri Lanka. I thought that South Africa was a safe bet, but they’ve gone all England on me. So now, it seems, all our hopes rest on a smallish island in the Indian Ocean. Or, as I will now call it in honour of my new champions, the “Mad Murali Seas”.