Thursday, March 15, 2007

Spaceship Scotland crashes and burns

This match was always going to be a lose-lose situation for me.

Like the rest of humanity, I obviously want to see the Australians humiliated by a minnow. However, after a nasty break up with a Scottish girlfriend, I have turned rather anti-Things-North-Of-The-Border. I am now an advocate of full Scottish independence, isolation and saturation bombing. So, it’s probably best if I take the little drop of bitter glee from the match and do like any good journalist by Focusing On The Loser.

So it brings me great joy when I say: Scotland were crushed by an opposing team. Hurrah!

This, yet again, matches up to my forecasts on the matter. The Scocthmen’s bizarre strategy of targeting one of the most awesome cricket machines in history was a mistake. Why not quote myself? It saves on effort.

There is no point in drawing up detailed plans on defeating Ponting’s team; it is a waste of effort. Scotland will lose against the Ozzies. They need to be realistic, and attempt to fell a weaker team: like England.

OK – admittedly this wasn’t exactly sticking my neck out. But still, one group of barbarians defeated another. Isn’t that enough?

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