My thoughts on the England cricket team

Rubbish, in the main.

From the safe distance of a few thousand miles, I have watched my side flap ineffectively in the face of a beatable, if solid, opposition.

The pain that those bastards cause me does not succor through distance.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING? RUBBISH! D’hear? RAH BISH.

The Michael Vaughan catch was an interesting one. Apparently, the side’s coach is allowed to appeal a decision, which is an element of the rulebook that seems to have alluded me.

I also liked the way that the umpires more or less accussed the English captain of lying. What a grand state of affairs modern cricket is in.

Indians, surprisingly rubbish at cricket

I was on a mode of public transport today. I was trying to understand an Indian newspaper, but, by gad! they don’t make it easy over here.

The newspaper situation has improved significantly since coming to Mumbai. Although the headlines in the Delhi Times were hilarious, the actual content was unintelligible.

I was reading the snazzy Mumbai Mirror on a bus, and a bloke next to me smiled and stabbed his creaking finger at a picture of Virender Sehwag.

“Sourav Ganguly” said he.

“Er… No. Sehwag,” said I.

“Who?”

Like I say, Indians are a bit rubbish when it comes to cricket.

The technique of Indian street children

Hopeless, absolutely hopeless. It’s no wonder that India never get anywhere, if this is all that have to work with.

That’s all my cricketing observations I have for you. Except,

THE BALLS ARE EXPLODING.

The balls are exploding

That is what the Indian telly is telling me about the cricket. Of course, Indian telly tells me about the cricket all the time. Whether it’s games from the early nineties, or the current England match, or some annoying presenters being kra-zee about the cricket.

It feels good to be irritated by people from television. It’s just like home.

Well done to young Sachin Tendulkar, by the by. I understand that he scored his 22nd test century yesterday. Against the Australians too.

Good work.

Right, it’s back to the cocktails for me.