Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Australia: HA!

I would say I was sorry for the long silence. But I’m not. I’m glad.

So. First thing’s first: Australia are unbelievably useless. We always knew it, but only today has it become a tangible truth.

Nevertheless, this is a special moment for all peoples everywhere

It is wonderful. Truly fantastical and delightful and perfect.

You know why?

I bet you don’t. You look a bit thick in the brain department, so I’ll tell you.

This is a wonderful moment not just because the Australians lost in such a comprehensive, feeble, weak, humiliating fashion. Oh no. It’s because they whinged all the way down the plug hole.

There is much talk of the Indians being “unsporting” by ensuring that Australia couldn’t win. What these means in English exactly, I’m not entirely sure. I can only assume that Australians are now “playing fair” and, presumably, beginning to play by the spirit of the game.

Although a match fine for a slow over rate undermines this claim slightly, Ricky Bunter claimed that he acted in the best interests of test cricket. How we can translate this from the incomprehensible logic that prevails in the Australian captain’s mind to common reason, is known only to a select group of ACB mind melons.

One can only assume that, in Bunting’s head, he is a knight in shining leather, defending the ancient institutions from evil (and Indian) onslaught. Only Australians truly understand the game. They are good, if simple, people.

All this guff, coupled with the bleating, makes this defeat especially sweet. Obviously, 2005 was good. But the Australians deluded themselves believing their loss resulted from bad luck. But, in this series, their rank incompetence is public and undeniable.

So, how do they respond?

By insinuating that the Indians cheated! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This is one of the best moments of my life. We are witnessing the breaking of a test team. AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

10 comments:

Straight Point said...

don't worry atheist...they will come to terms with reality...they will have to...this is 'new age' cricket... :)

David Barry said...

It's been pretty unedifying watching Ponting (/Nielsen) go from "I would have been suspended" to "It was necessary to maintain the Spirit of Cricket" and "the plan was always to bowl the slow bowlers".

D Charlton said...

Hello Atheist, good to have you back. And yes, Australia, hahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

I agree.

Moses @ Beer and Sport said...

Yes welcome back, bástard, and good luck in your tour against the Indians.

I didn't think the Indians cheated, off-theory is a perfectly legitimate tactic and within the laws. Sure it's not the most attractive bowling to watch, but the 282 Indians who showed up to watch this tour didn't seem to mind that very few runs were scored in the limited number of overs they did see. Mitchell Johnson bowling to a 7-2 field used the same tactic anyway, albeit with less success.

Here's the Top 10 reasons we lost... yes still bitter.

Damith S. said...

welcome back.

i actually feel there might be some internal problems within the team set up as well. i say this with respect to the whole symonds saga.

its always good to see the aussies loose but its whole lot better when they whinge about it !

regarding ponting- it may have something to do with this.
http://www.theflyslip.net/ricky-ponting-is-sarah-palin-in-disguise/

The Atheist said...

Australia lost.

Brilliant.

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Jonathan said...

I got lost there - when were you talking about Ponting/the rest of the team/the ACB/the press?

Just as well Ponting's not smart enough to resort to your result adjustment by population tactics!

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