Sunday, October 19, 2008

Dr No beats up that nasty witch from Sleeping Beauty

India are doing quite well against Australia. Theoretically, this shouldn´t be surprising. Australia are pretty useless at the moment. But, as we all know, that fact rarely results in their losing.

Nevertheless, the two evil sides of world cricket are slugging it out. The Ozzlers are evil because they just are. And India are evil because they are trying to take over the world. At least all the Aussies wanted to do was piss all over it.

That, I could take.

The fact that in every “Irish” bar in Europe, there are at least three Australian males complaining about people “back home” is as bad as the Ozzy Offensive got. But, if the Indians get their way, every visit to a bar will result in serious food poisoning.

Seeing as cricket is “scripted” now, we can assume that the baddies are battling it out for a final, epic face-off against the goodies. In this case, this is England.

It´s irrevelant that the goodies are a useless sack of disabled potatoes right now. Just look at Rocky. My Aunty Derrida´s cat boxes better than Rocky, and she´s been dead for twelve (both my relative and her cat – it was a tragic, if surreal accident).

The point being, rubbishness does not prevent glory. So, if the Hollywood rules of drama apply, we can expect England to eventually overcome the victors in this show-down, through a tense, if unlikely series of events.

Then England will get to Rodger the girl. Who, in this case, will be Keira Knightley.

(You may be interested to hear that I went to school with above film bint. Apparently, she had a thing for me. But I had to say no. We simply don´t share the same tastes in skirts.)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

the aussies are eviler than us. i promise.

they have bucknor. and fricken' lasers.

Damith S. said...

There has to be a plot twist in there somewhere..

Where the goddies are fighting a losing battle on to be rescued by their long standing foes turned friends - ie sri lanka.

who come in just in the nick of time when england heads are to be decapitated..there is a shining light from the mountains and we see murali and mendis riding on white horses ..

they join forces with the english and destroy the baddies.

i think thts a great plot. i love it.

horatius said...

who come in just in the nick of time when england heads are to be decapitated..there is a shining light from the mountains and we see murali and mendis riding on white horses ..


Didn't that like happen a couple of months ago?

And let's change the horses to elephants. It's technically correct as well as more intimidating.