Tuesday, August 26, 2008

England follow the path of foreignness

By winning. England are winning. They actually played a game of cricket and won it. By winning.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. Usually, I have some pretty strong feelings on this issue. But, today, I feel confused.

England is led by a Saffer. We have foreign keepers. We have foreign players. There is a pretty strong correlation between their foreignness and their success. Which is a surprisingly deep reflection of the British economy in the post-war period.

But, I don’t really care about losing. An international sport is essentially a tribal activity. We jeer at those over there; and celebrate those over here. Regardless how amazing They are and how totally rubbish We are, we fill the room with hate and love in equal measure.

I enjoy the ownership I feel over the team. The irrational companionship I feel with those holding similar accents when we watch a group of other similarly accented people go and try to do something.

Look at the Scottish football team. Their supporters pride themselves on a fanatic, ceaseless following of a relentlessly awful team. It’s almost stubborn. Would they trade this for the relative success an all-Britain football team could offer? Would they buggery.

So, it’s with England’s crushing, impressive yet strangely unstirring win over South Africa rather confuses me.

Notwithstanding the Saffers’ obvious fatigue after a committed test series effort, the Englanders performance was hearty.

But it was inspired by some geezer who wears ear-rings and is generally regarded by those who don’t know him best, as a twat. He is does not sound like me.

So, was this my England winning?

I don’t know.

I know I might feel happier if Twickenham won the World Cup. But would I feel so elated if we drafted in a load of three armed mega-aliens to do the job?

Yeah. Probably. That would wipe the smile of those evil Teddington folk.

Bastards.

6 comments:

Catherine said...

I think you have overlooked the major contribution of Stuart Broad to our win. He is very English and so therefore I feel able to celebrate our win with gusto, now knowing that it was not all down to KP.

Jrod said...

I thought Stuart Broad was Aryan.

The Atheist said...

What are you all saying? That I'm wrong?

Are you all saying I'm wrong?

Is that it?

IS THAT IT?

Miriam said...

Honestly, there's just no pleasing some people, is there?

D Charlton said...

Mr The Atheist,

This is a true story: i played cricket against Twickenham CC twice this year. They are a great bunch of lads and a good team. But they are made up of eight South Africans, two Aussies and one Englishman in the side. The guy we couldn't get out was called Cronje... Would you be that pleased if they won the World Cup?

Sorry to bring real life into the blog...

GoodCricketWicket said...

Funny, isn't it? We used to have a Zimbabwean coach who we swapped for an English one. Then, when the team coached by the Englishman stopped winning, everyone started to blame the English coach...oh, right...now I get it...