Thursday, June 12, 2008

England don’t know what they’re doing

Peter Moores has admitted that the $100 million England team need practice.

Their value, which can only be recorded in dollars, came from Donald Trump and his continued attempts to buy cricket.

Moores, the England coach and chief blokie, stated that England’s players were a little rusty when it came to twenty20.

“Frankly, they’re only good at boring cricket. But that doesn’t earn any money, so we’ll have to start taking limited overs seriously.”

The West Indies will fancy their chances of making huge amounts of money in this competition (especially when you facture in PPP – high five to the economists out there!) And, to be quite honest, I think the Windies players need the money more than the likes of KP.

There was a programme on the radio just now. The presenters were discussing the role of the Church of England – possibly the meekest, most mild-mannered religion going. It is polite and is embarrassed and focuses heavily on things like flower arranging and cucumber sandwiches. In short, the perfect religion. An English religion.

Cricket is a lot like that. People shamble about on a village green for a while, and then nip of to the pub. No one really knows why, and are too self-conscious to discuss it, it’s just part of life and people get on with it.

So, I don’t have a fucking massive problem with cricket being a shameless money-seeking enterprise that sucks all that is good out country in what remains of this plastic, atomised world.

Oh, due to some miracle that, once again, makes me question my theological position, I didn’t lose my job today. I survived! Ryan Hairybottom did his bit for me today, he really did. Here’s for six more weeks of gay and paid working life!

Right! I’m off to the pub now, to celebrate employment! Cheerio!

2 comments:

Dave said...

Good thing you moved to the Church of Hairybottom - who knows if Anil Kumble would have been able to work the same magic?

Spigot said...

Congrats on still having somewhere to have to go everyday and be full of loathing for everyone around you for 9 hours.

Obviously there was a big gamble taken at the world T20 last year with Maddy and Schofield and the likes, largely based on stats, but while that didn't really work, there are SO many well proven T20 players in England now, it seems ludicrous to not look elsewhere for those players to represent your country. Most of the released players did OK actually. Bell was painfully slow getting started, but did build an innings and was scoring at about 120 when he was out for his 42. But even that was a one day innings squashed down, compared to Hick and Solanki last night, who just went nuts, again, and was excellent. But then as above, Solanki was one of the "failures" of that England squad, so I think I've just undermined myself totally...

Obviously as this Stanford drivel is just a show match, it's not about the country winning, but the players winning, as a reward from the ECB to them. So an odd middle ground... You'd never let Vaughan play, natch, but then you'd not throw the baby out with the bath water, just to "guarentee" a win, so you keep as many test players as you dare. Strange balance.

Not sure how meek C of E is when alone with a young boy...