Wednesday, April 16, 2008

AYALAC launches new IPL team

King Cricket recently agonised over which team to invest his support. He opted for the “English tactic” by selecting the worst looking outfit.

I, too, have deliberated over this problem. But, given as I hate the IPL so, it is probably best that I launch my own team and attempt to wangle them into the League. (I was going to found a team with Miss Field, but my legal people didn't like her legal people's shoes.)

Although the team isn’t flush with money, once the players realise that I’m associated with it, they will flock to me like fluff to a bellybutton. Besides, I’ll buy them a pint now and then.

So here’s my team, with my bid in parenthesis:

Rahul Dravid (packet of pork scratchings)
Steve Tikolo (pint of “Captain Smith”)
Mahela Jayawardena (one coaster; torn)
Hashim Alma (the printed wine list)
Mohammed Yousef (half eaten packet of crisps; ready salted)
Cameron White (some pleasant chit chat about folk from the Blackdown Hills)
+Chris Martin (a prod)
*Anil Kumble (the entire contents of my bank account)
Ryan Sidebottom (some lager; on special offer)
Abdur Razzak (bottle of trendy alco-pop)
Dwayne Leverock (that nice sounding pie on the Specials Board)

These are obviously the best players in the world. The basic criteria is that either their best shot is the forward defence or they bowl spin. I have no other demands of cricketers.

Although, some of them have connections to Somerset or are otherwise in my favour. I have decided to give gloves to a specialist gloveman, I’m not concerned about batting ability.

They will be called the Twickenham Alan Sugars. Named after my town and the scariest thing I can think of.

So, how easy is it getting a franchise into the IPL? It must be easy, no?


Ottayan said...

It will be easier getting into the EPL. :)

Jrod said...

A prod is a bit much for coldplay isnt it. How about a nod.

sanath said...

I've told u several times to lnk my blog but so far dat has not happend..dunno y..pls do it?

Miss Field said...

You might tell the world it was because of shoes, but I'm going on Oprah (or maybe Sunrise) to expose the truth...

Gareth said...

Hey Atheist,

New to your blog, like it a lot!

There have been some interesting views on the IPL, gonna be a strange time for the next few weeks as it bullies its way through the Cricketing community!

Tried to find your e-mail address to contact you but unable to find it?

The Atheist said...


Glad you like the blog. My email address is:

You'll need to verify your addresss before it goes through, though.

Sanath said...

I've told u several times to lnk my blog but so far dat has not happend..dunno y..pls do it?

Anonymous said...

This is a perfect site about IPL Indian Premier League

Pay per head bookmaking said...

a IPL team?? really?? I had no idea about this, but I am happy I came to your blog and I read this piece of news!