Monday, March 03, 2008

Where are they now?

Here is a picture of an estate agent’s business card. The name upon it says “Carl Hooper”.

Hooper is one of my all-time favourite cricketers, and I am genuinely saddened to see him reduced to flogging property on Essex sunshine coast to make a living.

In any case, it started me wondering about the careers of cricketers. What are they doing now?

Many “famous” cricketers go into broadcasting. This is a profession that requires quick thinking and easy articulacy. However, these requirements are waived for most sportsmen, who are given nicknames in compensation. Note:

- Michael “Keith Arthur” Atherton
- Nasser “Saddam” Hussein
- Adam “Church going nutjob” Gilchrist
- Jimmy “Nearly Good” Adams

No one has quote exploaded onto the television scene quite like the man who wikipeadia names as Philip ("Phil") Clive Roderick "Tuffers" Tufnell. In 2003 he won the educational programme I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!. He captained the sports quiz show They Think It's All Over until 2005. And in 2004, he made two guest appearances in UK Soap opera Family Affairs. Good ol’ Tuffers.

But TV is a predictable path. There are other obvious career routes for cricketers, such as going into the City. Which I understand is a very interesting line of work.

Others go back into the local leagues, and live like Kings. Take Chris Lewis, he captains Clifton Cricket Club, in the Central Lancashire Cricket League, where he opens the batting and the bowling and has an average of 98 and 20 in each discipline this season.

Devon Malcolm has also reconstituted himself into an awesome batsman at village level. He also plays quiz shows sometimes. He lost at “The Weakest Link”.

Cricket, for some, is a sport and this tenious fact has enabled Mohammad Azharuddin to run a Physical Education Centre in Hyderabad since 2004.

This has also required the divorcing of his wife in favour of a beauty contestent and Bollywood, er, actress Sangeeta Bijlani.

Others have preferred to show off their artistic skills. Aravinda de Silva has become a celebrity chef. Darren Gough and Mark Ramprakash have both won “Celebrity Prancing….Get Me Out Of Here.” Richie Richardson plays also plays bass guitar with Curtly Ambrose in reggae band Big Bad Dread and The Baldhead.

Inzaman ul Haq plays trombone in a Miles Davis tribute act. Henry Oolonga has started a successful double act with Barrie Richards.

Others have gone into politics. Most obviously, Imran Khan became a member of Pakistan’s Parliament. He was placed under house arrest for his opposition to General Pervez Musharraf. He also enjoys an exciting personal life. Kapil Dev has also gone into politics and is currently attemping to take over the world.

Martin Crowe became a scientist and invented a new strain of cricket. Like a proper scientist, his peirs ignored his work and laughed at him.

That’s pretty much all I can think of. Anyone else have any?

5 comments:

Suave said...

That's Amazing...

With me, Carl Hooper

Miss Field said...

What beautiful actress in her right mind wouldn't run away with a man with such a fine mo', even if he was married. What a catch.

Actually I wonder how many of them made back up plans. If, when they were starting out, they realised that their career would be over by their mid-30s (20s for the English ones) and unless they were the best of the best (unlikely for most) careers in a cricket-related field would be out of reach (as would be the prospect of not having to work because cricket made them wealthy enough).

Mr D said...

For Gods sake don't tell Martin Crowe he invented something. It is already costing a fortune to widen doors in Auckland so he can get his big through. Best he goes the way of Alfred Wegner (?) and passes away quietly in Greenland.

Mr D said...

Head! The word I left out was head.

miriam said...

Mr D I was about to say, I always thought there was something more to the Jesse Ryder door-smashing story.