Monday, February 18, 2008

English women are better than Australian women

Good cricket, much like good art, reveals a truth about the world; it reflects facts back at us with an unswerving clarity. Today, the women from England showed their pre-eminence over their Australian counter-parts in every department, by retaining the Ashes.

If you, like me, spent your Sunday driving up to central London in second gear to see an exhibition in the British Museum, this will come as good news to you. Especially as you didn’t realise that you had to book ahead and had to content yourself by wondering aimlessly around stolen artefacts.

As interesting as Assyrian reliefs are, they ain’t no Terracotta Warrior. Similarly, as nice as Aussie birds are, they ain’t no Englishwomen.

Well done girls! I’m not sure whether they get some rubbishy fake urn, like the blokes, or are given real ashes as part of a celebratory face-pack, but whatever they get, it’s well-deserved.

Of course, the pace in women’s cricket may not be as exciting as the boys’, the first innings were played at under two an over and enjoyed a Caroline Atkins 15 off 71 balls, but they make up ground in other areas.

For instance, we all know that women have superior verbal skills, so surely they’ll be sophisticated and non-non-sensical post-match interviews. Here’s England captain Charlotte Edwards:
“We had always said we would come out here and aim to win this match in order to retain the Ashes and that's what we did today.”
Well. Fair enough. If a little disappointing.

In any case, England did well to win so convincingly. The Australian attack boasts two of the fastest bowlers in the world, and to beat those dastardly Ausslers with all their devious tricks at home is some feat.

An AYALAC nod goes to Isa Guha who took 9-100, in a match-winning bowling display that cowed the Australians into a cowardly defeat. Also, kudos to Claire Taylor. Although she manages that rare quality in females: foppishness. Still, her surprisingly Michael Vaughan-like appearance stood her well in batting – allowing her to score 158 in the match.

HOORAH FOR OUR GIRLS!

4 comments:

Miss Field said...

Yes yes, well done.

15 off 71 is so funny. KP would be jealous of stats like that!

And I suppose it's a good thing you prefer English birds, seeing as you live in England and all.

Suave said...

Wow, proper test cricket! ground out results, batting made exceedingly difficult, and bowlers on top..

I can't remember the last time that happened in Mens cricket.

As soon as it does, idiots like Graeme Smith and knobbag Hayden complain about the quality of the pitches.

What they mean, is stop creating these grassy, swinging wickets. You know we can only play if the ball doesn't move..

Smashing through the line don't work, when you've got a bit of the old swingy magic!

miriam said...

It's nice to see these posts about the ladies. Well done ladies!

The Atheist said...

You're right, Suave. It's good to see actual cricket being played.

Shame it's never on telly.

Or any other form of cricket, for that matter.