Tuesday, January 22, 2008

No news of Chinese domination

OK – serious technology problems in the AYALAC HQ. Firstly, someone, who shall renamed nameless but silently persecuted, downloaded a virus onto the main computer. All my files, and beautiful, beautiful temporary internet files, may be lost forever.

Secondly, I sort of sat on my laptop, whilst something was sitting on the keypad. Result: a huge crack, which has rendered the entire display screen unusable. In all, this last day may end up costing me thousands in replacement computer bits. Although, if anyone can beat £130 for a new laptop screen, be my guest.

Anyway, more importantly, what about the cricket? Well, Zimbabwe explore the meaning of ineptitude further in their small, but no less important, essay on ineffectiveness.

But, most ominously, we haven’t heard anything much from the Sleeping Giant, and my new champion, China. I rather suspect that they are on “silent running” – a hunter-submarine sneaking up on the other, older and clunkier submarines, hoping not to bump into them.

Sadly, rather like the taking of Formosa, their campaign doesn't seem to be going to plan. I can report that their team have been thrashed recently by the mighty Saudi Arabians in the Asian Cricket Council Cup. Their under-19 team was beaten by 191 runs in 50-over game.

However, young Zhang Yu Fai impressed by taking two wickets as first change bowler, and whacking 47 off 49 (with ten fours) as first change batsman. One for the future, eh?

What China need is someone to advise them. An expert in the game. Perhaps a commentator. Someone who is both adapt at passing an opinion and creating strong publicity on the web.

I offer reasonable rates and have a proven track-record in working with weak teams. So anyone from the Chinese sports authorities, you can feel free to drop me a line to discuss an arrangement.

Long live our glorious leader!

7 comments:

Suave said...

Just don't lose.. You'll end up disappearing for ever, and then where would I get my Anil Kumle appreciation blogging from?

Suave said...

also, I know how you feel..

I came home from work, to find my 18mth old daughter has cracked the screen on my LCD TV, and I'm now watching it through a multicoloured chessboard..

Miriam said...

SUAVE: That's really sweet. Maybe she wants to learn chess. I'd have loved to have learned chess when I was little.

AYALAC: the thing with China is that once they get properly involved in something they tend to whupp the asses of everybody else. Eg an astoundingly beautiful Chinese lady has just won Miss World. And they have the World's Tallest Man. Do we really want them to beat England at cricket too?

Uncle J rod said...

Imagine facing yao ming.

Suave said...

Miriam, maybe I'll invest in a chessboard, in the hope that she doesn't cause £700 worth of damage with that!

Home contents insurance. Why do they not tell you to get that in the ante-natal classes.

Uncle J, That would be terrifying. I'd much prefer to face Qu Ying..

Uncle J rod said...

I'd prefer Ziyi Zhang

The Atheist said...

OK, the virus has gone away. And I will be getting the laptop fixed on Friday. This may not seem interesting to you, but it is bloody fascinating to me.

Laptops should be made child-proof, because, to be honest, none of us can be trusted with expensive, wirey things. Can we?

China. Our new masters. We must obey.

Their laptops don't break.