2008: proving as predictably depressing as 2007

Well, just as you think that India might create an interesting match against Australia, the Ausslers grind out a strong position and begin to press home their own advantage.

The seemingly effortless success of those bastards is all the proof I need for the non-existence of god.

New years always start badly for me. First, you struggle with verticality. Can I do it? After hours of trying you manage this feat, by sitting upright in bed, trying not to fall on the ceiling. Most of the day is spent man-handling yourself into your trousers and seeing whether you can cope with a cup of tea.

After two day’s recovering, I decided to look up the cricket score. I think that this reckless act reversed all progress on my condition, sending me staggering back to bed with a grey illness. This is what Australia does for you.

V.V.S. Laxman, however, like a bad joke, keeps repeating the same, desperate rear-guard in the SCG. His century improved my mood a little. But, you already feel that, once the Ausslers take the advantage, they do not yield it.

It is interesting to note that, if Zaheer Khan was playing, Australia would probably been skittled for less that 200. It is even more interesting to note that if my dead Aunt Gwendolyn was an Indian out-fielder, they’d probably be all out for 150. Sadly, the BCCI opted for hopeless butterfingers instead of my expired relative. A mistake that they never seem to learn from.

With a little intent and some well-time injuries, India may squeeze a draw from this match. I have my well-stabbed Bret Lee voodoo doll at the ready. It’s never worked in the past. Although, when my little niece started inviting it to her tea-parties, the Australian fast bowler started releasing pop songs. It would make for an interesting match if I invited little Sarah over for some Earl Grey tomorrow.