Pietersen is not sick

Once again, England have proven their toughness, by fielding Kevin Pietersen in tomorrow’s test match. KP could not get of bed yesterday. But never mind, we’ll stick him in anyway. He’ll cough it off.

I like the way that England risk their players’ careers and health to squeeze another match out of them. It feels as if I’m getting value for all that tax money that goes to the ECB.

If, say, Ian Bell, fell ill in this manner, he would probably still be in the infirmary come Thursday. However, KP has become a key part of England’s sledging attack, and they have really come to depend on his abusive qualities since his debut in 2005.

Assuming Pietersen is well enough to see the ball, England’s chances are winning improve considerably just with his presence. I have, as usual, no actual evidence to support that, but I’ll just say that he’s really, really good.

I was not the only concerned person when I heard the news. Michael Vaughan:

"It was slightly worrying when I heard he'd got a virus but the doctor said straight away that as long as he got his tablets down him he'd be okay."

As long as he has his tablets? Jesus Christ, doesn’t he just sound ready for the ultimate test in cricketing prowess. Just wait for Pietersen to cease chasing a ball to the boundary, only to pop a few uppers and resume the dash.

Also look out for rogue drugs hanging around on a length outside the off stump.