Sunday, January 17, 2010

Surprise! We were rubbish after all

Somehow, England have blagged their way to test match success throughout 2009. They live not so much a charmed life, but a life over-brimming with rabbit foots, newt’s legs and sexts from Beelzebub.

There were perhaps immorally lucky to have escaped in so many matches. The same team was beaten by the West Indies no long ago.

And you remember the West Indies, right?

No. Neither do I.

So, does this display of impetrative bowling and feeble batting mean that England fans can point out that: Most of our players are South African.

All the metaphysical laws of double standards say: yes. Yes you can.

The final score reads: the good bit of South Africa (the bit that, you know, could get a job) beat the rubbishy, whiney part of South Africa.

How very interesting.


Sgt. Maj. Assmole said...

The reason we didnt win was not enough Safricans. We need Rudolph and Bedwetter now!

Sgt. Maj. Assmole said...

And not enough pigs - Key and Bresnan - Strauss is a lonely porker without them. (Trottu is only piglike in name and doesn't count)
To digress, did anyone see the picture of Cook on the bbc site today- he looks the spit of Jaws from the Bond film.

SixSixEight said...

The Windies - I remember them!!!!!The only time I could say I was there!

And I still see no evidence at all that we have a team that can take 20 wickets cheaply and consistently.

horatius said...

I suggest you fill the other half of your team with Pakistanis. Just don't make any of them captain and you'll be fine. The saffers plus Bell can take care of batting for draws. The stanis will cause the occassional collapse. England will then truly be the number 1 side in the world. Or something like it.

skchai said...

Please AYALAC, we are experiencing acute withdrawal symptoms because your posting frequency has dropped down to almost nil, which could potentially have detrimental effects for world peace, environmental warming, etc. When the Telegraph named you 12th-best cricket website in the world they added the rather backhanded comment "Hasn’t been as prominent in 2009 as in previous years." Hate to think of what they would say about 2010 so far - it is your duty to humanity to post at least 12 times a month. Do not become the J.D. Salinger of cricket blogging. I know, one slight difference is that no one is paying you, and maybe you have no desire to "attach" yourself to one of the commercial cricket sites, but nobody can replace the world's most pessimistic blogger, who brings us such joy.

skchai said...

Also, if you stop posting, your comments section will eventually be filled by people like Ms. Emily Walker, not to mention adds for viagra and dubious penny stocks, and we can't have that.

angela said...

It is March and still no posts in here...zzzzzzzzzzzzz