Thursday, January 07, 2010

FACT. England are the most annoying side in the world.

Clearly we should all hate the English. They don’t have much going for them: bad food, bad teeth and now a successful Ian Bell.

The ultimate insult to the world.

Today, the legacy of the phrase “a Paul Collingwood-type” player has been secured for good. Ian Bell has become a Paul Collingwood-type player. He’s not as good as Collingwood, though, obviously he’s much better which makes Bell all the worse.

All-out attacking cricket may be glamorous, but saving a match from certain defeat should also be an achievement worthy of celebration.

I have long criticised Collingwood. He looks ugly and can cock-up at times. But who amongst us can honestly deny that they too are unsightly incompetents? But, for some reason, he keeps coming up with the goods. He's hard. And increasingly, England are becoming hard like him.

England can now justifiably categorise themselves as a side that is Hard To Beat. It doesn’t matter that South African are the better side, and should be 2-1 up in this series, England are a bunch of hard cases that will take a severe battering before they’ll yield.

But still, as an England fan, it’s hard to know how to view you team. It was tempting to scream around the office once the draw was drawn, but surely it’s within our rights to hate them for inflicting an entire day or stress and worry upon us?

Best to pick and choose. Hate KP. Love Strauss. Hate James Anderson. Love Graham Swann. Have a love/hate relationship with Ian Bell.

Or just stick to hating the Australians?

9 comments:

Cjjones27 said...

I'd stick to hating the Australians - its less confusing than trying to understand my feelings towards England :)

rusty said...

It's hard to know what's worse - England as perpetual losers, England winning occasionally and suddenly thinking they're no. 1; or England playing dog-in-the-manger and drawing, and celebrating it like they''ve just won.

I think I'll just stick to hating England generally.

Purna said...

I'm with your Rusty. Although I do like Jimmy.

Cricket Tragic said...

Ah, I never thought I'd see the day when Bell was classified as a "Colly-like" player! :O

And, BTW, happy new year, Atheist! :P

The MG said...

England can also claim the term "a Harmison-like delivery" which is still used despite the numerous attempts by Mitchell Johnson to claim it as his own.

Fred said...

Stick to hating the Aussies - they deserve it more.

Rohan said...

Great day yesterday with those who had made it into the office keeping one eye on cricinfo (including the aussies) and mates from far and wide texting me.

I love England. Every single one of them. Like a very defensive boxer with a knockout right hand they're playing every Test series now to win and if at all possible leaving the opposition with a feeling they've been mugged. Hilarious.

Jummy Anderson, great 10%, why bother being good all the time ("jummies" being a noun used by my mates to indicate a real life situation equating to wasting the new ball in useful conditions)

Ian Bell, popular hate figure but has now saved/won two more tests than KP.

Cook - you can safely get up when we're playing india to find he's scoring at less than 2 an over and the game hasn't progresed much.

Sidthegnomenator said...

You're just now discovering that England are the most annoying side in the world?

Of course, I'm Australian so I'm biased.

horatius said...

I thought Pakistan was the most annoying team in the world. Or just maybe just to the stanis.