Tuesday, September 01, 2009

England win twenty20 series because that’s how GOD wants it

The England cricket team rub sulphurous hail stones into Australian wounds today by winning the match by having it abandoned.

No content with their Ashes triumph through fixing the pitch and nobbling the umpires, the Englanders further emasculated the Ozzlers by bribing the weather gods to piss it down. We don’t pay Ulbator Choobleton for nothing.

Some might dispute this “win”. But I dispute them. Clearly, if the Ozzos are not able to contend with the weather that we fight our way through to work every morning, then it reveals a lack of character that is unsuited to the trials of international sport.

Of course, Old Trafford has long maintained that it is a world class cricketing venue, with high quality flood lights and drainage facilities. Undoubtedly true. But it is in Manchester. And when the Mancunian rain isn’t cancelling my connecting flights to France, it’s pissing on the Australian parade.

So, in terms of the last three series we have played against Baggy Bums, England have won three. They nought.

It is said that the South Africans are the worst fans to gloat, and to bang on and on about fluked victories. But I think it is time that English fans build on current achievements, and strive for that top spot in international cricket.

For the Queen.

1 comment:

steve said...

I knew you had bribed the umpires - Poms will stop at nothing to be the top dog-in-the-mangers