Monday, February 16, 2009

Strangely disappointing success

If there’s one thing we English hate more than humiliating defeat, is storming success.

Oh, how a nation lapped up the sting of shameful loss of Jamaica. “51 runs!” Said we, “How shit is that?”

Very shit indeed, we all concurred.

Many pints were sunk in many pubs (no doubt a few steins were emptied in kneipen also) as a people took heartily to a favoured activity: bleating on about matters over which they have no influence.

Now all our beer-consuming ambitions have been dashed by unadulterated, brazen and frankly inconsiderate ascendancy in Antigua.

An opening English batsman “went on” to score a big hundred. Large partnerships were compelled. The top order put the opposition to the sword. And wickets, generally, were not thrown away cheaply.

The batsmen are doing all the things that we have demanded of them for the last four years. For the first time in eight campaigns of misery, they’re finally delivering a professional and ruthless performance.

And how do we feel?

Well, frankly, disappointed.

The pitch promised us fireworks. 23 wickets in a day. Lost teeth. Permanently disfigured South Africans. This is what we wanted to see. Violence, pain and suffering.

And what did we get?

Not a sausage.

I commented in a previous post that the last game was a return to the 1980s. Well, we’ve skipped over the 1990s and sank back inexorably into the mediocre Windies of the naughties. They’re not even worth beating again.

So, all we can hope for is that a few of the less popular members of the England team might receive a particular nasty bruise. That or concussion.

3 comments:

Som said...

I simply love West Indies. I don't think any team can veer from sublime to farce in such a short time. Ignore the flash in the pan, they revel in the stagnation of their murky cesspool.

The Free Hit - the ad hoc report said...

they’re finally delivering a professional and ruthless performance.

i have my reservations about the word ruthless.

Totally agree on the West Indies not even being worth beating. Tonight, I was surprised that Chandrapaul still plays!

Pay per head services said...

that is a totally strangely disappointing success indeed and I had not seen or read anything like this before until now