Friday, September 05, 2008

Angus Fraser makes dangerous statement

Generally, I don’t like to get involved in county politics. It’s boring. I prefer to focus on the actual cricketers – and their filthy private lives.

But, if you must know, there are rumours that Angus Fraser will take over as “Managing Director” of Middlesex.

The only reason that this is news is because a) people have heard of Angus Fraser and b) Graeme Smith is in hospital awaiting a mouth transplant.

I love Fraser. He, along with Andy Caddick and possibly Phillip J Tuffers were among my favourite players of England’s 1990s Golden Era.

Fraser’s main tactic was to spend half an hour running in and by the time he got to the crease he was visibly exhausted. When Brian Lara dispatched him to the boundary, Gussy would kick at the ground and blame the captain for asking him to bowl an unreasonable number of overs. Just look at how knackered I am you heartless bastard. He would say that. Only, without quotations marks.

Then the captain was changed. Hopefully to one who would put our Angus in at slip.

On the speculation regarding this county position, Fraser has said:

"I'm keen to chat with them and find out what they [Middlesexian big-wigs] have to say because it's still a place close to my heart. I currently have a very good job with the Independent newspaper but…”

And this next bit requires a severe buttock-clenching bracing position.

“….there is no harm in listening to what people have to say.”

Oh Gussy. Gussy. Gussy. Gussy.

Angus. Angus Robert Charles Fraser. Angus. You may need to know all there is about doggedly plugging away off or around the women’s changing room, but your understanding of human behaviour is somewhat lacking.

Personally, I feel that this dangerous and frankly inflammatory statement should preclude him from any position of authority. Obviously, he’s fine in his current role as a journalist. But any job where people should actually listen to him should be immediately ruled out.

Perhaps send him back to the ICC?

In my experience, the most harm has come from listening to people. In fact, I have given it up altogether.

Look at Stalin. He spent most of his early days listening to Lenin. And then look what happened.

It’s the same storey with Gordon Brown.

Do you want to end up like that, Gussy? Do you? Do you?

Well then.

6 comments:

narkins said...

Yeah but stalin my have spent alot of time listening to Lenin, but he spent the rest of his time killing of his major rivals and then spent years ignoring what Lenin had said, All while laughing madly.

The Atheist said...

EXACTLY.

If Stalin simply glazed over and thought about those nice Russian girls across the road, none of that would have happened.

Fraser is treading a dangerous path indeed.

Comrade Narkins said...

Hmmm good point, so were looking at snipers being placed at the top of Lords, and consistantly underperforming batsmen sent to the gulag.

Sounds fun :D

COME COMRADE FRASER WE'LL MAKE MIDDLESEX A TEAM TO BE FEARED ONCE AGAIN!

Jrod said...

If Gus is Stalin, does that make Atherton trotsky?

narkins said...

so were expecting a ice pick to rearrange athers forhead sometime soon?

I'd prefer if it was botham.

Ceci said...

Think you'd need something more powerful than an icepick to penetrate the thickness of the Botham skull. Something nuclear powered possibly.

Athers would be Gorky.