Monday, August 18, 2008

Name That Bum #14: Answer

Oh whoops! I forgot to award the Name That Bum winner.

The answer to latest conundrum was, of course, Robert Key, hero to millions.

Congratulations to House Monkey, who is awarded a real, actual picture taken of Robert Key by yours truly.

Now. I spent some time, at the Kent match I recently attended, conducting a study of Robert Key’s bum.

The bum, in itself, not particularly interesting. It is much like all the other bums in this world. Yet, it is holds an absorbing, fascinating draw. It’s not its healthy plumpness nor masculine firmness that compels the eye, but its relative proximity to the ground. Much like that of a Basset Hound.

Whether Key simply has stumpy legs, or a weirdly extended torso, seems rather irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that his bum, either through design or accidental downward droop, lowers Key’s centre of gravity.

This might, one supposes, heighten his leverage enabling superior stroke-play. It might simply be a frivolous gift to the crowd to enhance our amusement at the site of his running. The reasons for its vertical unambitiousness are unclear.

But the fact of the matter is that his bum is uncommonly close to the ground.

4 comments:

house-monkey said...

Hooray for me.

Ceci said...

Think it's the weight of his mighty cricketing brain which lowers his centre of gravity

King Cricket said...

Are we six days too late or are we six days too late?

The Atheist said...

Don't worry KC, it's never too late to contribute to the continuing debate that is Robert Key's bum.