Tuesday, July 29, 2008

AYALAC distributes a nod

Generally speaking, I don’t mind Saffers. A lot of people think them dubious, and decry the Republic as “The Evil Empire”.

I, on the other hand, tolerate them. This is because I find them, on the whole, tolerable.

I have met a great number of them, and have spent a reasonable proportion of my life in that general neck of the woods.

I quite like their gritty, boring approach to batting: Jacques Kallis and Neil McKenzie are quietly applauded here.

A person left a comment asking me who I liked yesterday. With the one obvious exception, I seem to like the South African team. The Sri Lankans are all, of course, lovely.

In the England set up, things are a little bit complicated. There are some players that I want maimed: KP, Jimmy A – the usual lot.

But who do I like? Well Ryan Hairybottom is current GOD and Alastair Cook used to occupy that coveted position.

The gingers get the nod. Captain Vaughany gets my qualified love. Chris Tremlett can have my babies a few times over. Tim Ambrose is Australian.

Obviously, Matthew Hoggard is a king in our time. With those golden locks, he should be given everything he wants. EVERYTHING.

GIVE ALL YOU HAVE TO AN ENGLAND SWING BOWLER NOW.

Owais Shah scares me in a sort of Clarke Gabel way. He looks a bit mad. As if he’s threatening to sweep you off your feet at any moment, and then run off with your mum. Although, that’s probably an unkind comparison. Gabel had terrible halitosis, which certainly wasn’t a hit with the ladies.

You see, it’s a confusing mix. But this is a useful reference for the rest of you. Remember, before you decide whether you like someone, ask yourself, what would AYALAC do?

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

i think that if all cricketers had unusual hair, cricket would be the new..baseball..
Bear with me..
The hits-
Ryan Sidebottom: Nothing without the hair. He is a cricket Sampson.
Matthew Hoggard: A swing bowling labrador
Lasith Malinga: sort of a boyband poodle.

on the other hand..
Michael Vaughan: a mullet, placed on a large upside down head
Hashim Amla: Really quite a confusing affair.

Basically, people should be judged on their hair alone.
This might be how racism started but hey ho.
Gingers are accepted, that's obvious.

Anonymous said...

So, are you saying you have met a nice South African?

SixSixEight said...

I rather like the Saffers – they are mad! All Mad!

I’m also with anonymous with the hair thing – get a bloody wicket keeper with hair!!!
This is what we need, Mustard or Reid will do but for hair you really need Foster I feel.

Foster for England – he has nice hair! There I’ve said it!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Good haired people for England! Yes! I agree! Also bring back Hoggie, I miss him.

John said...

Is it so wrong to like James Anderson?

SixSixEight said...

Anderson - the exception to the rule. Nice hair – crap bowler with temper issues. So yes john very wrong indeed!

Anonymous said...

Not if you're a South African batsman, John.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's wrong to like James Anderson, he's v good looking. But then again I am a Geraint Jones fan with Anti-KP tendencies.

The Atheist said...

Of course it's wrong to like James Anderson.

What's not to hate?

Hair - check
Rubbish bowling - check
Northerness - check

It's all there.

Anonymous said...

Atheist you are simply wrong.

His hair is ace, his bowling is quite good and sometimes ace and his northernness is rather excellent.

You are obviously just jealous.