Monday, May 26, 2008

Kiwis get all English on our asses

Well well. There I was. Rage flowing strong. Ready to launch into an angry tirade against England’s incompetents, and then New Zealand committed hari kiri.

These are scenes familar to followers of spineless English cricket across the world. It feels odd to watch New Zealand suffer a rather English fate.

They were ahead by about a jillion runs yesterday, and then the whole of New Zealand decided that they couldn’t be bothered.

They even gave Andrew Strauss a century.

There are rumours that Daniel Vettori gave his troops a bollocking, but, to be honest, the Kiwian captain was at the centre of every cock-up that unnecessarily turned the advantage towards England. Drop catches here; ridiculous run outs there; coupled with some pedestrian bowling, Frankie D’Vettori was looking like he fell off his filly before he's had chance to get his hands under the wire.

At the end, Paul Collingwood briefly changed his name to Genghis Khan, and smote the sheep herders without mercy to see The England home.

This is weird. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with the pent-up aggression. I might expend it on Australia.

3 comments:

Ceci said...

Oh please do - expend your spleen I mean - direct it at Ponting mainly but shower McGill and the possibly returning Hayden and Clarke

profernity said...

NZ are in fact well-known for this sort of collapse - since Bracewell has been in charge, NZ has averaged 198 in the second innings. It's the first innings total which varies from small to large. Matches where a high first-innings total is scored give the impression that NZ can't cope with a winning position, when in fact it's just that they're rubbish from Day 3 onwards.

Bring on John Wright as coach, I say!

The Atheist said...

Audience, pandered.