Monday, January 07, 2008

What the hell is going on?

In an unexpected move, the world has reportedly “gone mad” today, with the collapsing in the laws of logic.

The integrity of reason first began to disintegrate in the final moments of the second test of the Australia/India series. In a suspicious series of events, Michael Clarke was awarded responsibility in knocking over the last three Indian batsmen with two remaining overs. He decided to stretch the tension, by single-handedly wrapping up the Indian innings in the last over of the match.

During the bad natured game, in which India placed a novel accusation at Australia’s door by calling them “cheats”, Harbhajan Singh allegedly racially abused Andrew Symonds. Mike Procter, the match referee, ruled at the end of a four-hour hearing that Harbhajan had breached Level 3 of the ICC's Code of Conduct. He was consequently served with a three-match ban.

In a mature move, the Indians accused Brad Hogg of “using offensive language” and another hearing is likely.

It was reported by the BBC this morning that, not only is the BCCI appealing against the verdict, but they are also pulling out of the remainder of the tour in protest. I was a little surprised. Hissy fits are not unknown in India, but this was a huge toy ejected from a gargantuan pram.

Now, the Indians claim that these were only “rumours” and that the tour is going ahead. Which means, it’s ok, because someone from the ICL collected the toy and sent it back from whence it came.

Whenever India do anything, really, anything at all, it will be imbued with bonkerness. Nothing seems to be straightforward over there. It’s like the PCB has stapled insanity pants permanently on them.

We could appoint a sensible coach – nah, we’ll pick some bloke who’s once coached his way to Durban. We’re above twenty20 – sod it, we’ll win the world championship. We could have a twenty20 tournament - oh wait, we’ll go mental and divide world cricket instead.

What the hell? WHAT THE HELL!

4 comments:

Uncle J rod said...

Fancy accusing poor Brad Hogg of using langauge. The poor man can barely grunt.

Suave said...

Bard Hogg is an alabaster retard, he wouldn't know the meaning of a swear word, unless it came and smashed his head in!

The Atheist said...

Is Bard Hogg the team poet? I think, in that case, it's good that he can't swear. He needs a clean mouth if he is to compose rousing songs on his lute.

Miss Field said...

That's interesting, Brad Hogg has never come across as being particularly stupid or retarded to me.

Or is it just spite talking?