Thursday, January 24, 2008

Sachin Tendulkar: worthy of some respect

So, ol’ Sachin wangled his way to a 39th test century. Not bad. He receives the official AYALAC wink of approval.

The last Tendulkar run-glut I remember reading about was an account of his one-off game with a Cambridgeshire village team. Apparently, he more or less hit every ball for a nonchalant boundary. It wasn’t a Shahid Afridi onslaught, it was classic batting, or, in the words of an opponent,

“He just timed the pants off everything.”
Of course, he did go after Brenda Hogg a bit in this match, but it wasn’t slogging. And that is the genius of Tendulkar. If you or I wanted to beef some quick runs, we’d leap around the crease, close our eyes and throw everything we had in the vicinity of the ball. Of course, we’d pirouette onto the floor and cause much mirth.

But we mortals have no other option. There’s blind battering or Ol’ Trusty: the forward defensive.

Tendulkar, on the other hand, is aloof to all this unseemly bat flying. If he wants to score, he twinkles his toes into the perfect MCC manual position, and caresses the ball with effortless, pant-removing timing.

It is as if his poise at the crease naturally makes the ball seem slower, and others rubbisher. Although, when facing Hogg, even Shaun Tait would look a more elegant.

Sadly, this style had rather abandoned the Little Master as late, he was reduced to gritty innings in an almost constant rear-guard. People started talking about his bowling ability.

But this innings was like re-finding an old pack of chocolate biscuits that you forgot about, that needed to be eaten immediately lest they go off and whose existence were unknown to anyone else. Joy upon joy, Sachin is playing like a pack of chocolate biscuits again.

Not only that, but the pants that these Tesco’s Finest Biscuits removed were none other than Australia's. Ha! Take that, pants of Australia! Take that!

Hilariously, and rather honestly, Hogg admitted that Tendulkar hit his best ball for six. Although, rather like the heavy-set Suave thinks he can have most of the England team in a one-on-one death match, I would fancy my changes against Hogg’s best ball. (That is the ball which isn’t a long-hop, right?)


martyd said...

Comparing Tendulkar to a choclate biscuit - you brave, devil may care thing you.

Suave said...

The Atheist,

You are so wrong!!

I am not heavyset at all, I'm slightly taller than average, I'm in the middle of the BMI scale..

I'm just a Suave fella from Basildon, with a penchant for the old ultra violence!
Not really, I'm a peace loving, Suave, father of one, from North London.

To mention the core of your post.

Sachin, makes me weep. He's lost his touch, and panache, and he's still one of the best batsmen in world cricket.

No-one should be that lucky.

Miriam said...

I think Sachin is not a chocolate biscuit but is a cake, specifically the 12-inch jaffa cake that McVities made to prove that jaffa cakes are cakes not biscuits. Also, I love him. He is going to make me weep when he retires. I am even thinking of going to India this year when England go, to see him at play at home.

Uncle J rod said...

Hogg is the crumb your dog wont eat.

King Cricket said...

There's nothing finer than a pantless Australian.

No, wait.

The Atheist said...

Suave, you're too modest. I know you to be a beefy, butch, come-and-get me kinda guy. I'm sure you can have anyone on the England cricket team, even Matthew Hoggard.

Miriam, no. Our Sachin is definitely not a nasty, artificial Jaffa Cake. He is some divine, wonderous chocolate biscuit, made by Nigella whilst lusting over the cameras telling you how sexy these biscuits are.

Unkie, in my experience, the crumb my dog won't eat is usually some sort of stone that is absolutely using at pitching the ball in the right area.

Miriam said...

But this was a specially made, one-off jaffa cake. Specially-made! One-off!

Maybe he's all things to all men (and women).

Naked Cricket said...

Atheist, that was a breath of fresh air-pants being taken off! Like SRT's innings, left 'em panting.