Saturday, August 11, 2007

England not bad, but incredibly stupid

I think more or less every person in England wants to hunt down Andrew Strauss and beat him to death with the MCC manual. Well, perhaps not to death – he wouldn’t be much good in the second innings. Although I doubt whether the scorers would notice the difference.

Why are you playing a hook shot? WHY?

Anyway, that was yesterday’s rubbish. We have yet to look at today’s beauties: Consider Ian Bell’s flailing willow, Ryan Sidebottom’s moment of monkey fuck and Matthew Prior’s decent into Geraint Jonesdom.

All balls.

So, it’s left to Monty Panesar and Chris Tremlett to put on a 700-run partnership to put the game safe for England and win the game. You think this is not possible? You think that there is something that Monty can’t do? Duncan Fletcher thought that, and he’s fat. Do you want to be fat? Do you? Do you? Well then.

I would say “well done India”. But I’m not going to.

I will say: ANIL KUMBLE HAVE MY BABIES. I have long championed the skills of this hardy warrior. Just look how tough he is. Anil Kumble is the God. Yes, that’s right, we have a new GOD here at Ayalac.

Almost Monty amazing. But not quite. Monty’s going to double Kumble’s score. Just you wait.

3 comments:

Tim said...

Pretty feeble really. Only Anderson, Colly and possibly Prior have any excuse. So many injudicious shots; that's what happens when you play your "natural game". I await the inquests when we lose 2-0 though, save for dropping Prior, I'm not really sure we can do much better with so many players out.

Blue and Brown said...

Are you proposing to 'do' God or will it be a virginal conception - or at the very least non-contact?

The Atheist said...

Tim, Anderson played pretty well, I thought. Perhaps he'll solve our opening batsman problem. In fact, can he keep wicket? Might be another contender…

B&B, I wouldn’t actually touch the Divinity. I am merely offering him my off-spring. He looks a responsible enough chap. Besides, they’re a pain.