England like rampant rhinos

From the depths of the Sargasso Slow News Seas comes an unexpected England win. A victory of many noteworthy achievements. Let bloggers rejoice.

Firstly, it’s England’s first win over a proper side since February. That’s a long time for an England cricket fan. A very long time.

The win was made possible by two superb innings, both by young’uns, whose place is less than secure.

A partnership of 178 by Alistair Cook and Ian Bell really dominated the Indians. Both scoring a maiden century, and both looking like wonderful prospects for England’s ODI future.

Another good omen is the return of Andrew Flintoff. His bowling looked fast, fiery and accurate. He had a few niggling problems with no-balls, but anyone who passes Rahul Dravid’s outside edge gets the nod from me.

James Anderson proved his class, by taking 4-23 and becoming England’s fifth highest ODI wicket taker. The rest also looked good, except for Monty Panesar, who had an indifferent day. I suspect that he was upset by distracting news of international importance.

India, by comparison, looked rubbish. This makes me laugh. Look: Ha Ha Ha. That’s me laughing dementedly in the picture.

Their bowling lacked any real sort of threat. Their running between the wickets was hilarious. Worst still, they didn’t even seem to try. When Dravid and MS Dhoni were together, instead of chasing down their seven-an-over target, they just tapped it around for three-an-over. Why? What are you thinking? Possible twos were left unconverted, they seemed content with singles.

Rubbish. Derisory rubbish.

If India want to win these series, and one strongly suspects they do, then I suppose they’ll have to make a bit of an effort. But, there’s still six more matches. Perhaps they’re hoping that England will just get bored and start playing ping-pong?