Sussex: better than India?

Sussex (population 1.2 million) is giving India (population 1.2 billion) a run for its rupee in a warm-up match at Hove.

After recording 388-7 for the first innings, India had the local boys reeling on 144-5. Only a brilliant rear-guard ton by Andy Hodd saw Sussex declare on 300, and the fight-back continued on the field as India was reduced to 21-2 at stumps.

Let’s look at Andy Hodd. From his picture, you can safely assume that he is boring, and isn’t worth writing much about. Unless he scores a hundred. You can write about that, if you want.

It would foolish to announce that Sussex is a better team that India. For a start, consider the population disparities. If a small English county started claiming its superiority, the Indian army could quickly crush the upstart.

Let us no forget, India is a nuclear power. I have lived in Sussex. The respective local authorities scattered about the county are useless. They couldn’t even get the bins collected, never mind organise a collective nuclear counter-strike.

We might say that this game was even a fluke: A freak outcome produced by overseas batsmen struggling to acquaint themselves to usually dodgy English conditions. But that would be dull.

Sod it. Let Chichester be damned: the Sussex County Cricket Club is better than every man in India.

I never liked it anyway.