Gayle blows through the West Indies

Some of you may think that’s a good headline. Don’t delude yourself. You and the headline are pants and poorly thought out.

Chris Gayle the good but-is-he-really-that-good-? West Indian opener has decided to make post-match cocktails that much icier by laying into the WICB. On a real, live, published blog, he says:

“First and foremost I am very disappointed with the West Indian cricket board
(WICB) for not having the guys here in England already and ready to play”

Consequently, the Windies are “struggling to find 11 players to turn out”. Remember, in Sportsman-speak “disappointed” means “livid like a cuckolded ape-thing”.

Not being a Windies fan, I find it rather hilarious that, forgetting that they have another series to fight, they injure half their players and send home the rest, selecting people they find in the street with a vaguely Caribbean background.

If I were, say, Jamaican (would that it was) I would probably do a Mark Vermeulen, and burn down the WICB building. Then again, I’d burn down most buildings if I had half the chance.

Not only are ex-pros openly attacking the West Indies team, but so are its current players. All pretexts of collective responsibility have melted away, with fingers pointing in all directions, leaving, what we call in Twickenham, a shambles.

What the West Indies need is Alan Sugar to sort them out. Oh wait, he does bugger all except criticise people, whilst he companies go down the tubes. Alan Sugar: You’re rubbish!